Bleached Metal: The B Sides
by Alex McM
Summary: The world's greatest metal band Soul Reaper discuss just about anything in a collection of lost interviews. From the mundane, to the taboo to the downright retarded, Soul Reaper leave no stone unturned in this unusually fascinating look at modern life.
1. Drugs & Alcohol and Heavy Metal

_**BLEACHED METAL: THE B-SIDES**_

_Soul Reaper conducted numerous interviews throughout their short career. Only some of them were actually put to print or released to the public. Some of the interviews were forgotten and ignored, some simply because they were unrelated, some because their words were inflammatory and some because it is simply illegal to repeat the words spoken on that day. These interviews have now been collected and released as a special bonus feature on the recently released limited edition of Soul Reapers first and only album, Hollow._

_These interviews were conducted as such: The band were asked their thoughts and opinions on varying topics. They ranged from the mundane to the taboo and in rare cases current events._

_The views expressed by Soul Reaper are their own and in no way associated with the record label._

* * *

><p><strong>The Music<strong>

Ichigo Kurosaki frowned. "You mean metal or, like, all music?"

"What do you mean all music?" Grimmjow snapped, "Metal is the only music!"

"For you maybe, but black people need music as well." Ichigo explained calmly like a parent informing their child. He even closed his eyes and waved a finger admonishingly like a cliched cartoon parent.

"Yeah and red-necks! Red-necks have country music." Renji added. "Besides, the world doesn't revolve around you Grimmjow!"

"Shut up bitch!"

"No you're a bitch!"

"No _you're_ a bitch!"

"No you're a-"

"You know what," Ichigo sighed, "They won't stop any time soon, let's just move over there." Ichigo moved over to the other side of the room and sat down again. He looked tired. "Well, metal is great. It's just so different from everything else you know? And it's got this edge to it that is just...Indescribable really. So, I mean we all wanted to be a part of it right from the start."

"It is addictive." Rukia suddenly popped up out of nowhere. "Ichigo played a song for me once and that was it! I was hooked! The guitars, the drums the vocals...Everything is just taken to the extreme and it sounds so damn good!"

"Metal is my life, well our life. I mean haters can say what they want but...Fuck them you know? Who cares what they think? I don't take advice from strangers. If someone on the street told you that you look like a complete fool would you take them seriously? I wouldn't!"

"Okay, calm down Ichigo..." Rukia whispered, patting his arm.

"And then they go on about metal just being music for serial killers and Satanists and criminals! But that's all a load of bullshit! For god's sake people can control their own lives. People are responsible for their own actions, not their interests! I like red meat but I don't kill animals!"

"Well there was that one time-"

"Stay out of this Rukia!" He snapped. "And I doubt paedophiles listen to metal, they probably listen to nursery rhymes or something!"

Rukia giggled nervously and stroked Ichigo's arm, "Okay seriously, Ichigo calm down...You're going to scare them." She wore a brave little smile on her face as she tried to calm him, but it was to no avail.

"I don't care if it scares them!"

"Well it's scaring _me_!" Rukia hissed.

"And another thing-" The fiery youth roared, leaping up from his chair and completely ignoring his young wife.

"You're drooling..."

"The root of society's problems aren't in our music! You have to stop looking for scape-goats and search for the real root of our problems!" At this point it appeared Ichigo wasn't going to stop. Grimmjow and Renji were having a slapping fight like a bunch of prepubescent girls and Nnoitra looked like he was semi-comatose.

Rukia rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh. "You know what...We might end it here..."

* * *

><p><strong>Drugs<strong>

"What? Drugs? I haven't got any fucking drugs! I'm clean dammit! Clean! Stop looking at me!"

Nnoitra was strangely on edge. The others took little notice though.

Ichigo folded his arms across his chest and murmured, "I don't take drugs. Just to be clear. I mean I'm only fifteen."

"But you're still an alcoholic." Rukia added, only to receive a fierce glare. "That and you're married. I doubt drug addiction will be much worse."

"You're making the marriage sound like a bad thing!" Ichigo snapped.

"It is!" Renji roared, abandoning his childish bitch-fight with Grimmjow.

The others stared at him for his sudden outburst, but none more so than Rukia and Ichigo. Rukia had a look of pity while Ichigo bore an expression that read: "I will kill you!" The red haired guitarist knew well enough to stay quiet, however he still looked like a troubled toddler on the verge of a tantrum as he sat in the corner, silently.

"Yeah...Drugs are just...You know...Stupid."

"Booze is still classified as a drug. You do know that don't you?" Rukia asked.

"No it isn't!" The boy shrugged it off.

"Yes it is!" Rukia defended herself swiftly.

"Bullshit!"

Rukia rolled her eyes and looked to the cameraman. "It is isn't it? Tell him."

"The cameraman can't get involved!" Grimmjow roared. "This is a matter between us!"

"Why are you getting involved?"

"Because I can!" The bass player retorted.

Silence.

"Fair enough..." Ichigo muttered. "So Grimmjow, is booze a drug?"

"Of course it's a drug! What are you stupid?" The bass player laughed heartily like a pirate in an old Disney movie. "But that makes it all the more fun to drink!"

Ichigo shrugged. "Yeah I guess you're right. Drugs are ok."

"Ichigo!" Rukia roared.

The young boy rolled his eyes and groaned. "Fine, fine. Most drugs are bad, but booze is fucking sweet!"

"So remember kids!" Grimmjow cheered hyper-actively, "Don't get high, just get so drunk that you can't speak properly anymore and throw up in a close friends' kitchen sink!" He then turned to Ichigo and scowled, "While there are still dished in there!"

"Huh?"

"I haven't forgotten what you did!" He pointed accusingly at the front-man. "Do you _know _how expensive fine China is?"

"Guys, please calm down." Rukia whispered, only to be drowned out by the others.

"How dare you say drugs are bad?" Nnoitra snarled, "The cure is wonderful!"

"No it isn't! You threw up in my lap you worthless fucking junky!" Renji snapped, punching Nnoitra in the side of the head.

Meanwhile Grimmjow lunged at Ichigo and spear tackled him. An all in brawl ensued and the cameraman fled for his life. Rukia however remained behind and sat back in a fine lounge chair, cracked open a cold one and had a drink. She let out a sigh of relief and ignored everything going on around her...Because booze is good!

* * *

><p><span>Well I hope you enjoyed that! In the next chapter Soul Reaper disscuss food (Or at least they are supposed to, but these guys go off track quite easilly.) <span>

Remember any suggestions are welcome and it can be anything. Don't forget to review either!


	2. Devourment

**Fast Food**

"Ha! We're in a metal band. Fast food is like our staple diet. If it ain't greasy and more processed than a supermodels face then we can't eat it." Grimmjow laughed at his own little joke. The others looked depressed. They also had bruises and bandages. Wonder what happened?

"I've been eating chicken nuggets for the past four months. I can't even remember what real food tastes like anymore." Renji almost broke down into tears.

"Oh quit complaining. Chicken is real food isn't it?"

"You don't understand!" Renji screamed, his voice cracking.

While he sobbed pitifully Ichigo leaned back in his chair and folded his arms behind his head. "Ah, I remember this one place. They called it 'Dimmu Burger' Funny name, I know. But anyway, they had this mascot that scared the shit out of me!"

"You mean the clowny-looking thing?" Rukia asked, "Yeah that freaked me out too. No wonder no-one goes to the circus anymore."

"Their blood burgers are pretty damn good though." Said the tall lanky drummer.

"Oh and the bone fries! They actually shape 'em like little bones and it's like the potato is the marrow!" Grimmjow clapped and cheered like an excited four year old on his way to McDonalds.

"Hey, didn't they go bust recently after some fiasco with the food preparation or something?" Renji seemed to have calmed down now.

"Oh, I read about that! They sacrificed animals or something in the kitchen!"

Rukia gasped. "Ew, you would get fur in the meal!"

"There was that. Plus the whole thing about the five year old..." Ichigo murmured.

"What thing about a five year old?" Everyone asked in unison, leaning forward expectantly.

"Well..." Ichigo considered where to start. After a brief moment of hesitation he asked, "Do you all know about the band Silencer?"

"No."

"Nope."

"Who?"

Ichigo sighed. "Fags. Anyway, their lead singer Nattram was put into an insane asylum a while back. The thing is though, he broke out. He escaped and went on a rampage. He actually struck a five year old girl in the head with an axe."

Everyone gasped.

"Yeah so this girl was going to die. While the police were having a stand-off with Nattram the little girl crawled over to the closest building, a Dimmu Burger store. She collapsed in the middle of the store, blood everywhere, right? And the cops were outside! The workers were shitting themselves. They thought they would get busted for killing the little girl, so they decided to hide the evidence."

Ichigo grinned wickedly. "They dumped her in the deep fryer!"

"AAARGH!"

"Oh my god!"

"Hmm, delicious children!" That was Grimmjow. No we didn't know he was a paedophile either...

"So now they are closing them all down?" Nnoitra asked fearfully.

"Yes. Every single store." Renji confirmed.

"Oh god! What will we do for food now?"

"There's always McDonalds?" Ichigo suggested.

Everyone threw up.

* * *

><p><strong>Cooler Ranch Doritos<strong>

"What the fuck are they?" Ichigo inquired.

"Do they even make those anymore?" Rukia asked.

"Better question, did they ever even make them here?" Said Renji, "I mean I've never even seen them before. What are they like?"

"Ugh!" Grimmjow made a disgusted face. "Dorito's are supposed to be Mexican. They are tortilla chips aren't they? So why the hell would they make a Texas ranch flavour for them?"

"Maybe because Texas is full of racists?" Ichigo suggested. You know like," He put on a thick Texan accent, "I ain't eatin' no triangulated devil chips if it from them there Mexicans! Now make it beef or pork! Make it American! Then I'll eat them there chips!"

Everyone stared at him.

Then they clapped.

"That was good!" Rukia cheered.

"But Cooler Ranch Doritos...Hell no!"

Everyone shook their head to support this claim.

* * *

><p><strong>Vegetarians<strong>

"Vegetarians? Kill the lot of 'em I say. Burn the fuckers alive! Roast them and serve to them to starving Ethiopians!" Nnoitra was rather passionate today.

"They aren't all bad." Ichigo explained, "I mean look at Cattle Decapitation or Animals Killing People? They are vegetarians and they are heavier than a truck-load of bricks."

"Yeah but dining out with a vegetarian is always so awkward." Rukia whined. "It's always, 'Oh I'll just have a salad' or 'Excuse me, but is there anything on this menu that hasn't suffered?' And you always feel so embarrassed but they just keep going on and on and on as if they're bloody super-heroes!"

"You sound like you're speaking from experience. But I thought you've only ever dated Ichigo." Grimmjow took out a magnifying glass and a Sherlock Holmes cap. He turned to Ichigo with a wry smile. "I say my dear Watson, I think she's cheating on you. She is dining on pork swords behind your back-" He was knocked across the room by the combined attacks of both Rukia _and_ Ichigo.

Rukia crossed her arms and sighed. "It's my brother, Byakuya."

Grimmjow, from across the room gasped (well more like wheezed but a gasp was his intention.) "W-With your brother? Sickening!" He was promptly beaten again. This time he added in no more smart-ass quips.

"My big brother is a vegetarian." Rukia said it almost as if she were ashamed.

"Really?" Ichigo cried, "He's such a tight-ass I thought he would roast bunnies with his stare alone!"

Rukia bowed her head. "He does, but he never eats them..."

A long silence stretched on after that.

"Boy this is awkward..." Renji looked around the room. Rukia was sobbing quietly, Grimmjow was unconscious, Ichigo was staring at his feet and Nnoitra was...Missing? He rolled his shoulders and yawned. "Right, well that's probably all you're gonna get for today. Let's call it a day huh?"

* * *

><p><span>Just putting it out there, but the whole thing about Nattram escaping from a mental asylum and attacking a five year old with an axe is partially true. It was actually a rumour, the truth is it was his brother who had attacked the girl with an axe and was then sent to the exact same mental asylum as Natramn. Isn't black metal fun? I bet only one in ten of you would have ever heard of that band before. If you have, well done. <span>

Anyway, send in any suggestions for interview topics and/or any advice or praise or whatever you have to say. It's all helpful in the end of the day. 

So please review.


	3. IchiRuki

**Ichi-Ruki**

Well, as per request, today is an Ichi-Ruki special! Enjoy and review!

* * *

><p>"What?"<p>

"Huh"

"The fuck is that?"

"Is that, like a disease or something?"

"I'm tired."

"SHUT UP GRIMMJOW!" Everyone yelled in unison.

"Anyway, to more pressing matters what the hell is Ichi-Ruki?"

…

"What? That's their name for us?" Ichigo waved at himself and his wife. "Ok, that's kind of weird..."

"I think it's kind of cute." Rukia chirped.

"No it's not! It's dumb! I got married to be with you, not lose the last syllable in my name!"

"Ichigo, it's a kind gesture-"

"How is it kind?" the front-man was fuming, "It sounds like something a bunch of basement dwelling otaku would come up with!"

Well...

"Ichigo sit down." Rukia spoke calmly.

Strangely enough, Ichigo complied with a submissive, "Yes honey."

The group took a quick breather before continuing.

"So you want to know about our relationship huh? Why? This isn't TMZ or some gay shit like that is it? Because if it is we'll have to kindly escort you to the morgue!" Ichigo's eye were blazing, but the instant Rukia let out a forced little cough Ichigo stiffened as if struck by rigor mortis and sat back like a good boy.

"Well, it's been great. Ichigo can be a handful at times, but he's lucky I wuv him!"

"You wuv me? Alright then, go ahead and spit on our love for each other then!"

"_Anyway,_" Rukia snarled, inciting Ichigo to practically shit himself as he crawled up the couch in the way a girl would when she sees a mouse running along the floor. "Our time together has been like a wonderful dream."

Renji scoffed and looked off at one of the walls.

"Jealous much?" Grimmjow snorted to his pine-apple-peaked friend.

"Oh shut up! You know you're jealous too!" Renji snapped back.

"I am not jelly!" the bass player retorted.

"Bullshit! You are so!"

"Renji, please calm down." Rukia sighed like a gentle breeze, placing a hand gently on his shoulder.

"I LOVED YOU!" Renji ran off sobbing. Grimmjow pointed and laughed but somewhere within his spout of rabid laughter tears started flowing and then he ran off as well.

Rukia laughed nervously and patted Ichigo's knee. "So yeah...Ichigo and I are very happy about it. But as you can see the others are still kind of depressed. I guess that's what happens when a bunch of naive young men form a band with such an elegant and beautiful woman!" Rukia crooked her arm under her chin and splayed all her fingers out while unleashing a clichéd princess laugh. Until the band's drummer Nnoitra had to rain on her parade.

"I'm fine with them being married. It means Ichigo is the only one that has to be pussy whipped around here. And besides, I wouldn't fuck her even if she was a groupie and I was drunk off my ass!"

Nnoitra cracked up laughing, holding his sides as his grin consumed his entire face and he howled like a hyena at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Meanwhile Ichigo crawled under a table to hide and Rukia was sitting firmly in her seat, eyes closed, teeth grinding and a vein popping up on her forehead. Steam soon started spurting out of her ears and an aura of flames was enveloping around her.

Ichigo, while still under the table took a glance at the calendar and his eyes narrowed. He then promptly got the fuck out of there!

Nnoitra however was still laughing his head off like a fool, unaware of the raging young guitarist sitting nearby. Even the cameraman had taken several sizeable steps backwards.

Rukia looked like she was about to explode in about three...

Two...

On-

"WHAT?" Rukia pounced on Nnoitra, knocking his chair over and throwing the lanky drummer to the floor. She then proceeded to bitch slap him while screaming abuse. "HOW DARE YOU! What are you trying to say about me? Are you saying I'm ugly? You're one to talk! You look like a gay clown who is too poor to afford face paint! And besides, I'm pretty! My brother said so! Ichigo said so! And right now Renji and Grimmjow are crying like little girls because they lost their chance to have a piece of me! So how dare you call me ugly!"

Nnoitra gave no response; his mouth was full of blood and dislodged teeth. If this were a cartoon stars would be spinning around his head and a comically sized lump would appear on his forehead. But this wasn't a cartoon. This was far uglier. Big black eyes, broken teeth and cracked lips flecked in bloody spittle. And Rukia's knuckles were split apart, oozing blood down her delicate (Or so we thought) fingers. While Nnoitra spat out mouthful after mouthful of blood and sobbed pitifully, Rukia resumed her position on the couch, smoothed out her little black dress and smiled an angelic smile.

A light knock on the door alerted her to Ichigo's presence.

"Is it safe?"

"Yes, sweet-heart." Rukia called out. Ichigo pretended to ignore the semi-dying drummer and edged his way over to the couch, trying to avoid the thick pools congealing on the floor.

"So...Uh...Where were we?"

"R-Rukia...Is...A bitch!" Nnoitra groaned, only to have one of Rukia's shoes hurled at his face. He shut up after that.

"Kids? I don't know. I never really thought about it but I guess Rukia will want them though. All women do don't they?"

"Well, it might be nice." Rukia said with the most perfect innocent smile on her face, a deep contrast to the blood-thirsty she-demon that had just under a minute ago rendered a man near death with her bare hands.

"If you want kids you can clean up after them."

"Fine."

"And cook for them."

"Easy enough."

"And take care of them when they are crying."

"Of course."

"And when they're not crying."

"Very well, but- Hey! What would you do then? You're supposed to be the father!" Rukia glared at him and Ichigo just laughed.

"Why I'd just do what every father does: Get drunk and watch T.V! And then become sexually repressed because the baby gets to fondle her breasts more than I do and he gets free damn milk while I have to drive down to the store and buy some! And then when the baby cries you'll go and hug him and kiss him but when I've had a hard day and wanna relax with my wife she'll be too busy with the baby because he needs to be put to sleep! And then at night when I want to finger her bass she'll tell me that the baby needs to be nursed and have his diaper changed and so then I have to start a fucking solo career! NO! I don't want kids! Never!"

At some point in that increasingly disturbing speech Ichigo had jumped up on the couch and chucked a Tom Cruise. Now with his speech over he paused like a video on freeze frame, still with his arms in the air like the guy from the Toyota ad.

Rukia frowned. "Ok...I guess we don't need children. Besides, we have each other."

If a studio audience were present, there would have been a great big, "Aw" but there was only the cameraman who posed his final question.

"So I guess that means Ichigo is the dominant one in the relationship."

"What? Are you kidding? Of course I am. I'm the man. I have to wear the pants in the relationship! The only time a woman wears pants is when she's a lesbian! And Rukia looks way better in dresses anyway! Isn't that right Rukia?"

Ichigo looked over to his bride who appeared to be fuming again. She lashed out with lightning speed and karate chopped him square in the top of the head. He dropped to the floor, landing on his hands and knees and begged for forgiveness.

Rukia then patted him on the head and smiled like a princess, "Good boy! I love you Ichigo!"

"Uh huh." Ichigo murmured as he crawled back up onto the couch. I hmm you too."

The camera ran out of film there, but trust me the scene did not end. Not until Ichigo was in the Intensive Care Unit of the local hospital...

Ah, young love...

* * *

><p><span>Don't you just feel all warm and fuzzy inside now? Well that's not good! That's a sign of cancer! Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this. Remember, any requests are welcome so please review!<span>


	4. You Killed Kenny

**4.**

**Kenpachi**

BEFORE DEATHFEST

"Huh?" Ichigo glanced across his band mates all assembled on the couch and jabbed an accusing finger at the drummer, a giant of a man with spiky black hair and a look in his eyes that really made you want to leave the room and run as far away as possible before some serious shit went down. "Why is he a topic? Do we all get a chance in the spotlight?"

"You and Rukia had your turn earlier you dumb fuck!" Renji snapped, blushing for some reason. He also looked on the verge of tears.

"Hey! Don't talk to me like that! And besides that interview was what, like four or five months ago! My memory isn't that good!"

"We wrote Hollow over a year ago and you remember that." Rukia just had to add, and we met way earlier than that. You remember our first meeting right?" She smiled ever so sweetly, enough seduce Grimmjow and Renji, though being as desperate as they are it isn't hard.

Ichigo just rolled his eyes and groaned, "No I can't remember. I was pissed out of my mind. I remember going to a club and throwing up on my shoes and then...Then it's all a blur..."

"What? I saved your family and made you into a shinigami! It was at _your _house! There wasn't even any booze there! How could you forget the moment that started this entire series you pig-headed son-of-a-"

Rukia charged at Ichigo but before she could do some real damage she was sent flying across the room from a single swipe from the huge drummer.

"Hang on, hang on! This is about me not you're little fucking lover spats!" Kenpachi reared up on his hind legs and roared, "But hang on a second! I've got a bone to pick with you!"

Kenpachi turned towards the...Hang on what fuck? Zaraki Kenpachi just broke the fourth wall and-

"HEY! What is your fucking problem? You kill me off in every single fucking story! I'm not that damn weak you silly little bitch! Now keep me alive in this story or I swear I will tear all the skin off your ass, make a pancake out of it and stuff it down your fucking throat until you choke on your own ass!"

...Um...Okay just calm down. Easy, man, easy.

"Don't kill me off again!"

Ok, ok, I won't kill you off.

"You better not! Because if you do I'll put your feet through a mincer and you can have nachos with Cooler Ranch Doritos!"

Oh god no! Alright man, everything's cool. Nobody is going to kill off anybody, alright. Just sit back down and get on with this story. The readers at home are confused and scared.

"Okay, I'm calm." Kenpachi took a deep breath. "So yeah, I'm the drummer and I kick serious ass."

"Yeah, don't get near him in a mosh pit or you'll wind up as dead!" Grimmjow decided to peel himself away from the far wall opposite the enraged madman and drummer to add in his five cents worth.

"He really was the best choice for our drummer in the band; I mean this guy is a freakin' beast!" Ichigo returned from a bomb shelter to join the conversation again.

"He's the only one who hasn't made any aggressive sexual advances on me and that's really nice." Rukia said that with such a perfectly honest smile you could almost forget what she had just said.

Almost.

"Say what?" Ichigo asked.

"Oh, nothing it's just, you know he's the only one who hasn't tried to chat me up or get in with me and I think it is really nice of him to respect my relationship with you Ichigo."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! You said aggressive sexual advances. He is the only one in the _entire band_ who hasn't made _aggressive sexual advances_ on you?"

Rukia blinked, "Yeah pretty much."

Ichigo looked calm for a second. Then he was fuming, his cheeks burning as bright as his hair. "Grimmjow! Renji! Come here you worthless piles of shit!"

"Hey, hey calm down man!" Renji cried as Ichigo spear tackled him and tried to strangle him, "It's not like you guys are married or anything!"

* * *

><p>PRESENT DAY<p>

Slight pause.

…

Ichigo blinked. "Well now we are married! So fuck you Grimmjow! Fuck you Renji! Stay away from my woman!"

Everyone involved suddenly woke up from their naps.

"Dude, what on Earth are you talking about?"

Ichigo furrowed his brow, "What do you mean, we were just talking about it like five seconds ago- Oh crap we time-skipped didn't we?"

"What?"

"Are you high?"

"The hell are you on about?"

Everyone looked around and noticed Nnoitra sleeping on the couch, not Kenpachi.

Everyone looked directly at the screen, through the big hole in the fourth wall that still hadn't been repaired.

...

"Zaraki's gonna be mad at you..."

…

Yeah...He is...


	5. Guilty Pleasures

**5.**

**Guilty Pleasures**

All eyes were on Ichigo Kurosaki, the vocalist of Soul Reaper. Accusing stares and glares bore deep into his soul and made the young boy cower, sweat rolling down his face.

"What? What are you all looking at me like that for?"

"Guilty. Pleasures." Renji spat with utter disgust, his unusually decorated eyebrows arched down distastefully.

"Boy are they gonna have a field day with you." Grimmjow added coldly.

Nnoitra just snorted. And Rukia?

Rukia just sat there.

Ichigo was quick to defend himself, albeit trembling like a lost child at a supermarket. "W-What are you guys talking about? I haven't done anything wrong!"

The awkwardness and the silence of the immediate moment afterward passed beyond the definition of each word. The emptiness of sound and the agonising tension in that one moment was beyond words. No description could possibly suffice to properly depict what occurred.

And then they stared. And then they laughed.

"Don't laugh at me!" Ichigo cried but it was to no avail. "I said stop laughing dammit!"

His feeble requests only made them laugh harder. Renji was on the floor now, rolling about. Nnoitra slapped his thighs like an old man as he chuckled and Grimmjow had literally pissed himself laughing and had run off to the bathroom. Rukia's laughter was the worst of them all. Although the timbre of her delicate giggling was ever so sweet and lyrical that it could have become a song in itself. However the very act of Rukia Kuchiki, guitarist and wife of Ichigo Kurosaki laughing like that dug deeper than a knife through his flesh, carving its way to his heart and twisting with reckless abandon. It stung and Ichigo was pushed to the brink of tears by it.

"Please," he sobbed, so pathetic he was dribbling all over himself as he begged, "Please stop laughing at me!"

This only made their laughter intensify. Grimmjow remained in the bathroom, unable to trust himself to step outside again, what with the hilarity of Ichigo's situation only escalating.

Ichigo wiped the tears away and puffed out his chest. He took a deep breath and sniffed loudly, closing his eyes as he became lost in thought. Desperate times always called for desperate measures. This was a desperate time.

Ichigo hated having to do this, but it was the only way. It had caused many misunderstandings amongst him and his band mates and even his fans, not to mention complete strangers; however it was the only way to save himself and bring an end to this catastrophic event.

Ichigo sighed heavily before sucking in a huge lungful of air and then he roared, with the might of the gods themselves in a booming voice, like the rumbling bowels of Satan after eating Indian take-away, "I MASTURBATE FURIOUSLY OVER RUKIA'S FACEBOOK PHOTOS!"

…

You know how it was really awkward earlier? Well this topped it...

Grimmjow remained in the bathroom, but merely to throw up. Renji stopped rolling and stared off into dead space as if his brain had imploded and left him an empty vegetated shell. Nnoitra literally fell back off his chair and Rukia?

She...She didn't take it well.

"Uh...Uh...I didn't mean-" Ichigo tried to explain himself but he was quickly cut off as Rukia scuttled up the wall like a beetle, so utterly repulsed she could barely speak.

"Stay away from me!" she cried.

"God, man that fucking disgusting! She's your wife dude, that's just..." Renji frowned and knocked on the bathroom door, "Grimmjow help me out here, what is this?"

For the record Grimmjow did respond but it was muffled in the tiny bathroom and no-one really understood but nodded anyway as if it was a perfectly logical and well-made point. But seriously all the speakers picked up was indistinct muttering.

"Yeah exactly!" Renji chimed, nodding in overacted agreement.

"Look, I don't actually-"

"Wait a minute!" Rukia cried, "I don't even have a Facebook account!"

Ichigo smirked, "Exactly, I told you I-"

"Where are you watching me?" She screamed.

"Yes you do," Renji snapped, aggravated for some reason, "I've been friends with you for ages!" He even turned on the computer and showed them Rukia's profile. Rukia and Ichigo leaned over his shoulders and practically rubbed their noses against the screen.

"What? I don't get it...I never signed up...Who on Earth did all this? Wait, they have 300 photos of me? Where are they getting them from? Renji who the Hell are you talking to?"

"I thought it was you!"

"Hang on, look the photos." Ichigo muttered, "Grimmjow is in all of them, every single one..."

All eyes fell on the bathroom door.

"Ok, ok, I created a false account in Rukia's name," Grimmjow wailed from behind the door, "just so I could say I was friends with her. I just wanted to look cool for all the little girls and old people out there on Facebook..."

There was an unnerving pause that hung over the group.

"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on a second..." Renji stared back at the computer, then to the door to the bathroom and once again to the computer. The he glared at Ichigo. "If that is Grimmjow's account...Then technically that means..." his cheeks went a slight shade of blue, then green. A lump in his throat rose and he made a gagging sound.

"You've been wanking over _Grimmjow's_ Facebook photos!"

Ichigo blushed cherry red and Renji promptly shoulder-charged the bathroom door, begging Grimmjow to open the door and let him in. As the door opened Grimmjow could be heard muttering, "No wonder my wall was so white..." only to be shoved aside as Renji blew chunks. Grimmjow didn't wait long to join him.

Nnoitra still hadn't gotten up from falling off his chair earlier but nobody had paid attention to that. Instead, Rukia faced Ichigo and just stared, stared at the man she thought she knew.

"Ichigo, I...I don't know what to say...I mean I know he's got long hair and wears make-up but seriously...You have a wife. Or is there something wrong with me? I could play bass if you wanted? Then you could use that 'fingering the bass' thing and we could all laugh and giggle and...You know forget any of this ever happened..."

Ichigo sighed a sigh so heavy it actually dented the floor, "Look for the last time I never did anything like that! I just wanted you to stop laughing at me. See, look!" Ichigo reached into a drawer and pulled out two old scripts. He flicked through them and showed Rukia select pages of his prior attempts to silence a crowd.

"Oh, right...Now I get it! Oh I'm so sorry Ichigo, I didn't realise."

"It's okay Rukia, I know you didn't mean it."

The two hugged, kissed and made up and returned to the couch to try and pretend nothing had ever happened. They sat in silence for some time until Rukia glanced over to her husband and hesitantly opened her mouth. She appeared to be trying to ask him something but she just couldn't get the words out. After a few false starts she managed to string sentences together and asked ever so softly:

"You stopped drinking menstrual blood right?"

…

Ichigo may have had a stroke...


	6. Competition

**6.**

I'm sure it's sucked for you too waiting for an update but here is a little morsel to tide you over for now. Don't know how long till the next chapter but hopefully not long. Anyway enjoy and please review! 

**K-ON!**

"Say what now?"

Ichigo wasn't the only one confused.

"Oh my god I _love_ them! They're so cute!" Of course it was Rukia who said that. Who did you expect? Grimmjow? Still all eyes were on her at that point. Not just because of the vocal outburst but also because she was jumping on the couch and giggling like a schoolgirl with her first crush.

"Rukia...Is there something you're not telling us?" Ichigo looked surprisingly serious and usually he backed down from any form of challenge against his much stronger wife so this meant he was really serious.

"What?" Rukia snapped, already on the defensive, "Haven't any of you guys heard of K-ON!"

Blank stares all round.

"What about Hokago Tea-Time?"

Even blanker stares.

"Seriously?"

A cricket in a distant place chirped.

Rukia sighed and bowed her head in shame, "Fine! You got me. I'm a closet otaku."

"Jeez, can this story have a glossary for fuck's sake?" Ichigo roared, "What's an otaku?"

"You know, an anime fan." Rukia explained matter-of-factly

"What's anime?" Renji asked.

"Yeah," chimed Grimmjow, "Is it like dubstep or something?"

"What the fuck is dubstep?" Nnoitra snarled.

After a short break spent on Wikipedia the band returned and all sat down calmly. Rukia was smiling and the others all bore a semi-enlightened expression as if they had all just had an epiphany in the desert.

Ichigo looked defeated.

"Ichigo, what's wrong?" the concerned wife asked, stroking his shoulder. The berry-head shook her off and looked away. "Ichigo? Hey, you know you can tell me anything. What's wrong?"

After a tense minute of heavy breathing Ichigo finally answered, "It's...It's just that..."

"What?"

"It's just..." Ichigo took a deep breath to calm himself...

Then burst out in a hysterical fit of tears, "They're better than us!"

The other men soon followed suit and everyone bar Rukia was a worthless sobbing mess in the blink of an eye. They collapsed in on each other in a weird creepy and awkwardly pathetic dog pile, their tears congealing into a thick puddle on the floor which soaked into the rug and left an ugly stain.

Rukia tried to console them, "Hey, honey what are you saying? I mean sure they are good but they don't even play what we play! How can you compare them to us when they don't even play metal?"

"It doesn't matter!" Ichigo wailed, "They are just too damn cute! They're a high-school all girls rock band! We don't stand a chance!"

"Oh come on now it's not that bad." Rukia muttered dismissively.

"It is! I mean look at them, a bunch of cute little teenage girls. What have we got? A bunch of sweaty blokes!"

Rukia let out a strangled little giggle, "Ha ha, you've got me too remember?"

"Exactly! There's nothing cute about us at all!" Ichigo whined, his tear-clouded eyes leaving him oblivious to the rage welling up within his wife.

"Ichigo sweetheart...It sounds like you're saying I'm not cute?"

"Well of course you aren't! You're 150 years old! You stopped being cute over a century ago! But these girls are like jailbait rockers!"

"WHAT?"

There was a blur of movement and then blood splattered the camera lens. When it was wiped away Rukia had Ichigo in the floor with a bloodied nose and crying far more violently than before.

"How is that for a 150 year old woman? Huh? Am I still good enough for ya? Or do you still want to run off with a high school girl? Huh? ANSWER ME ICHIGO!"

"No Ma'am! I'm yours forever and ever!"

"Good boy."

While all this was going on Renji leaned over beside Grimmjow and grinned, "I'd still tap that."

The room became silent for some time after that until...

"So wait a minute...Who is Hokago Tea-Time?"

Grimmjow was promptly slapped.

* * *

><p><strong>DMC<strong>

A song was played for the band and everyone sat around a home speaker system listening intently on the searing metal tunes. Soon enough everyone looked to each other and nodded and sat back with smiles.

"Sounds good."

"We're still better than them."

"How many times can one man say rape in one song?"

"Well their drummer is still fat so...Yeah!"

Rukia lay sprawled on the couch in a rather suggestive position, moaning ecstatically. Ichigo, Renji and Grimmjow all looked quite jealous when they caught on at last.

"Oh my _fucking_ god! This shit makes me so fucking wet! I love it!"

Well that sure got their attention. The song playing in the background became secondary to whatever the Hell Rukia was doing which now involved grinding against a pillow and howling, "It's the rainy season down here! There's fish swimming in my *#%$! Fuck!"

Trust me, it got scarier when she started foaming at the mouth and touching herself. Even Ichigo was hesitant to approach her.

"Hey, someone come over here, I'm so fucking horny right now!"

Upon that request Renji quickly jumped up and made his way towards Rukia, only to be stopped by her defensive husband.

"Hey! That's my wife man! Don't you dare do anything funny with her. I don't really know what's going on with her at the moment but it is no excuse for you to get up to any sneaky business alright?"

Renji hung his head low, "Alright...Sorry man."

"Ok then. Now sit down and-"

"Oh god yes!"

Ichigo spun on his heels and fainted upon seeing Grimmjow on top of Rukia.

"Grimmjow what the Hell are you doing? Let go of her!"

"Hey! That's my wife!"

"Is it wrong to be watching this?"

"YES!"

"Oh god yes!"

…

The speakers were still blaring, "Rape rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape!"


	7. Downloading Music

7.

**Downloading Music**

"You know I heard our songs have been downloaded like thousands and thousands of times!" Grimmjow seemed happy as usual.

"So...We should be rolling in it then?" Renji asked.

"Uh, well no," Rukia explained patting the two morons on the shoulder and looking gently in their eyes, "You see free downloads means they pay no money to get the songs."

"Huh?" The two bumbling, dim-witted retards sputtered in unison.

"It's bullshit!" Ichigo snapped from the other side of the room. Nobody had really paid attention to him for a while since he was curled up on the couch playing with his laptop.

Rukia sighed, "For God's sake Ichigo, get off the computer we're supposed to be having an interview!" she had the 'nagging mother' tone down pat.

"In a minute, in a minute! It's almost done!"

"What is?"

"I'm downloading our album." Ichigo explained.

"WHAT? Ichigo how can you steal your own music?"

"Well screw paying $15 for it! I sunk enough money into making the damn record."

"But you just said downloading was bullshit?" Rukia struggled to understand her husband's complex mind.

"Yeah, the _fans_' downloading is a load of shit, but the _band _doing it is perfectly fine."

"That makes no sense..." Rukia shook her head.

"It does to me now shut up! God, you're not my mother!"

"Of course not," Renji just had to butt in, "because your mother is dead!"

"Fuck you! I'll download a hundred copies of the album and give it to the fans myself. Then you won't get your cut of the record sales! So take that you fucking make-up monster!"

"You take that back!" roared the defiant red-head.

"Never!"

"Hang on," Rukia said. Not to anyone's surprise the two bickering fools didn't listen to her and continued to drawl out pathetic asinine insults that even kindergarten kids would think are childish. Rukia counted to three in faint whispers under her breath before silencing them the old fashioned way, "HEY!"

…

"Good. Now Ichigo, if you actually downloaded all our albums and handed them out to fans, it wouldn't just be Renji missing out on record sales. You would too. You would only be hurting yourself."

"No I wouldn't," Ichigo snapped, "I'd sell them instead, you know...Like bootleg copies."

"But that's illegal!"

"Oh it will be fine-"

"It's not fine! It's fucking stupid! You would get arrested for pirating and illegally distributing y_our own music_! You are supposed to be a professional musician! How can you not understand this? How could I marry someone so freaking stupid?"

Ichigo didn't have a response to that. Nobody did. Even the cameraman felt awkward after that and kindly excused himself while everyone just sat there dumbstruck.

Rukia looked around and frowned, only just then realising what she had said. "Uh...Ichigo? Sweet-heart? You ok?"

He didn't answer. Rukia started to panic.

"Ichigo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that...It's just, well I Was a little flustered and it just came out. I love you, you know that right?"

Ichigo still had his head down, but the way his shoulders quivered every now and then and the tiny droplets splattering his computer's keyboard gave some strong enough hints that he was crying. He was devastated. With his masculinity crushed, his dignity stripped away and the one he loved tearing him apart...Ichigo was crushed.

"Holy shit, this might be the end of it..." Grimmjow whispered to his red-headed friend.

"If it is I got next dibs on marrying her."

"What? No way!"

"Yes way! You already go to...To..." Renji blushed just at the memories of the last chapter's events. "Not only that I had to look at your pale white ass while you did it!"

"You didn't _have _to look!"

"Of course I had to look!" Renji hissed, "Rukia was naked!"

"Then why were you watching _me_?" Grimmjow whispered harshly.

"Because you were in the way!"

"Then you shouldn't have watched at all then."

"I had to watch!" Renji stressed again.

"Dude, that's just sad..."

"You're sad!" Was Renji's well-prepared response.

"I'm not sad-" Grimmjow was cut off by Renji's feline hiss.

"You are sad!"

"No, I'm not sad! And you know why? Because I _fucked_ her!"

"Now I'm sad!" Renji cried, running off to the bathroom and nearly crash tackling the cameraman as he made his way back into the room.

While Grimmjow was laughing triumphantly Rukia was still trying to coax Ichigo to talk. He was still hunched over the computer sobbing. She didn't know how to deal with this so she tried any old thing, form tickling him, to poking him, to giving him hugs and kisses, even singing to him. But none of it seemed to work.

"Ichigo, come on. Please, don't cry."

All of a sudden Nnoitra who was passed out on the couch woke up in a daze. He reeked of alcohol. "Gah, shit...What day is it? What's that sound? Huh? Is Ichigo...Is he crying?"

"Yeah, he's really upset..." Rukia was on the verge of tears herself.

"Why?"

Rukia took a deep breath, "Well, it's because-"

"My download didn't work!" Ichigo wailed.

"What?"

"I-It's a broken link...It didn't work at all!"

Rukia let out a deep sigh, "Oh my god! And here I was thinking I'd done something wrong. How silly! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Soon enough everyone shared in the laughter.

Rukia leaned over her husband, still cracking up, and snatched his laptop and smashed it over her knee before throwing it into the wall.

"Hey!"

"Are you kidding me?" she roared like a very pissed off lioness...which was menstruating...

"You made me feel so horrible for the way I acted and all you were upset about was because you couldn't steal your own fucking songs?"

Ichigo just stared at her, wide eyed, "Yeah...Pretty much..."

Rukia snarled, "Ichigo, you're going to do a little favour for me now."

Ichigo looked petrified, his eyes darting left and right, "Uh...I don't like favours..." Rukia grabbed him by the hair and lifted him up out of his seat, ignoring his strangely high pitched squealing.

"Now listen closely and listen well," she hissed, "You're gonna go down to the local record store, look around for a while, find our album and buy a copy for everyone! Then you're going to sign them and wrap them up really nice and give them to us for Christmas! Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am!" Ichigo sobbed pitifully as he was dropped to the floor. He crawled over to pick up his wallet and continued to crawl on hands and knees out the door, still weeping.

Everyone else in the room was staring at Rukia as if she had just been possessed and honestly for all intents and purposes she really was. Rukia looked down upon them all and offered a cheerful little giggle.

"Ha ha ha...Showbiz!"

* * *

><p><span>Please review and requests are welcome<span>


	8. The Enemy

7.

**Country/Western Music**

Grimmjow made a strange face lost somewhere between confusions and...Well a little more confusion, "Country? Which one?"

"Seriously?" Rukia sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Are you seriously serious about asking that? Seriously?"

"Bitch if you say 'seriously' one more time I'm gonna start a drinking game!" This was the epitome of Nnoitra's contribution to the interview.

"You've been playing drinking games all day!" the fiery young girl snapped back.

"Mommy and daddy are yelling and I'm scared!" cried Renji who was curled up in one corner of the room sobbing and covering his ears. Ichigo stared at him in disbelief, then at the others and then back at Renji. It didn't seem to help at all...

"What? Aren't I the Daddy? Wait, how can we even be a mother and father when we haven't even had kids? We haven't even-"

"Shut up! Answer the question already!" Rukia screamed just in the nick of time, her cheeks burning bright bloody red.

"Huh? Oh right! Country music. You know I never really understood it. I mean what's so great about singing about farms and farming and living on a farm and driving a pick-up truck or a tractor? There's no fun in it if nobody dies!"

"There's more to it than that you know!" said a rather adamant Renji who had mysteriously recovered from his even more mysterious emotional breakdown earlier. No-one had expected him to burst out like that.

"Really? I've never heard anything more than what Ichigo said." replied Rukia with a thin smile.

"Don't be ridiculous! If it was only about farming why would people in the city listen to it? Who gives a flying fuck about driving a tractor when you catch the bus to the office every day?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, "Fine then wise-ass, tell us what country music is _really _about since you're the expert all of a sudden!"

"Seriously? You don't know?"

"I'm drinking!" roared Nnoitra.

Renji closed his eyes and took a deep breath, shaking his head slowly from left to right. "How typical of you metal-heads to just sweep everything under the rug and not even care to understand it. It's so easy to damn something when you don't know the first thing about it. Have you ever even _listened_ to country music? I doubt it if you still have that stereotype about farm songs!"

"Dude, calm down, we're talking about _country music!_"

"No, I won't calm down! It pisses me off that people always make the unfair judgement on country music before they even give it a chance! They always say 'oh that's just for rednecks and old people' or 'all the songs are about tractors and farms and shit' well I'm sick of it! They don't even understand the heart of country music!"

"Well give it to me straight doctor, what is it?"

Ichigo's attempts at being smartass only made Renji wince before finally taking another deep breath. By now Nnoitra had started another drinking game and was guzzling down another bottle since Renji took his dramatic breath.

"Country music...At its core...Well, it's about..."

"Being poor?"

"Being a farmer?"

"Which country?!"

Ignore Grimmjow, he just wants attention.

"No!" Renji shot up until he was standing on the table and proudly declared with excessive volume, "Country music is about having an ugly, bitching, nagging whore of a wife who you absolutely loathe to the point that it makes you sick but for God knows whatever reason you always stay with her anyway!"

A room full of blank faces and empty silence ensued thereafter from Renji's revelation.

"R-Really?"

Ichigo bowed his head as the tiniest traces of a smirk crossed his features. It was time to be a smart-ass again!

"Ha! Maybe I should become a country singer then?"

All the guys laughed like hyena's, rolling on the floor until tears flowed.

Rukia however, remained sitting on the couch, her eyes closed, hands by her side, stuck in some sort of meditation pose. When she opened her eyes she glanced so very softly at the cameraman and whispered so quietly that only he could hear...

"Leave the room now. I can't guarantee your safety if you stay and I really don't want to drag an innocent by-stander into this."

Having a wealth of experience and documented evidence of Rukia's violent mood-swings the cameraman placed the camera down and ran out of the room. He slammed the door shut behind him and stood outside, listening intently, but all he could hear was the boisterous laughter of the others.

Then...

"GRRRAAAAAAAAAARRRGGH!"

More screams followed.

The laughter died.

Country music was never brought up again around Soul Reaper...

* * *

><p><strong>Pop Music<strong>

"Pop? You mean metalcore?"

"Is that stuff like Metallica and Slipknot?"

"No you idiot! Remember, we're not from _their _world. It's what _they_ think is popular!" said Ichigo who in a disturbing turn of events had become the voice of reason for the group.

Nnoitra slammed a mug carved from a human skull down on the table and roared in an even drunker slur than usual, "Fuck that shit!"

And so the bickering began amidst the boisterous, testosterone-driven boys of Soul Reaper. Meanwhile, Rukia sat on the edge of the couch leaning forward eagerly with rosy cheeks as she let out what was definitely a fangirl-squeal.

"Oh~! I love, love, love J-pop! Oh my god I love it!"

…

Rukia looked around at the shocked expressions and her smile dissipated behind a thin frown.

"What?"

"That's my line!" Ichigo yelled, standing up for no explicable reason aside from possibly putting on a show for the camera, "What's all this about loving J-pop huh? You traitor! I mean it was bad enough that Renji gets a fucking hard-on over Old Ronald McDonald but I will not stand for you listening to...Hang on what in the Hell is J-pop anyway?"

A long bead of sweat dropped down along the side of Rukia's head, dumbfounded at his question, but a cautionary glance at the rest of the band revealed they were all fairly eager to learn the answer as well. With a dramatic sigh (Possibly learned from Renji's escapades earlier) she shared her divine wisdom, "J-pop is Japanese pop. You know, J for Japan?"

"What difference does it make if it's from Japan? Why not just call it Pop music like the rest of the world? Besides we're in Japan why do you need to call attention to where it comes from?"

"Because what the rest of the world calls 'pop music' is worse than shit! The kind of foul, rotting, steaming, putrid pile of pus-ridden diarrhoea slurry that wouldn't even sustain a garden! The kind of crap you find in a public toilet cubicle that smells so heinous that no matter how far you move away from the toilets afterwards, the smell still lingers and follows you wherever you go! Their pop music is like the kind of shit you find in a McDonald's bathroom smeared on everything but the bowl that you sincerely wish that the person who made it suffered while doing it or had hopefully died at some point in the process. It's-"

"Stop!" Ichigo waved a white flag he had procured from thin air, "For the love of God please stop!"

Nnoitra slammed down his drinking cup once more, this time with a dazed look in his eyes and slightly green cheeks, "Ugh, I think I'm gonna puke...And not because of the booze!" He promptly left the room and the unfortunately close proximity of the toilet to the living room where the interview was conducted allowed everyone to hear the violent tiger-esque roar and sonic splatter of vomit against the ceramic sink.

"Geez, Rukia...I've seen a darker side to you today. I'm really not impressed." Grimmjow shook his head like a father ashamed of his daughter, which doesn't really add up when said father figure was still hung up about trying to get into her pants...

Ichigo strolled up beside her and held out his hand expectantly, "Rukia, hand me your IPod."

"Huh?"

"NOW!" commanded Drill Sergeant Ichigo Kurosaki.

Rukia hastily handed over her IPod and recoiled from Ichigo's grave expression as he scrolled through her songs.

"What the...? Perfume? That isn't brutal! I bet they don't sing about infanticide! Passpo? Did they reach the character limit before writing 'passport'?"

Rukia averted her gaze and bowed her head, "I think it's cute..."

"Hang on! Houkago Tea Time?! You've got their fucking songs on your IPod?! How dare you!"

Rukia shrank back further, curled up into a ball and hiding behind a fort of pillows, "I-I love them..."

Suddenly Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "And what the Hell is this?! Kyar...Kary...Kyara? No hang on." Ichigo brought his face closer to the little device and squinted, "Kyary Pamyu Pamyu? Rukia, explain!" said in the manner of a strict father discovering his son's porn stash.

The defendant in question, one Rukia Kuchiki burst forth from her palisade of pillows and lunged at the laptop resting on their coffee table. What followed was a brief YouTube clip of 'Ponponpon'.

While Rukia was bobbing up and down and humming to herself, utterly delighted, the others seemed to share terribly confused, somewhat terrified and stunned expressions.

"What the fuck is that?"

"What are those?!"

"Where did that come from?!"

"Am I high?"

Usually Grimmjow's comments are to be ignored, but for some reason this time the bass player's words seemed to resonate within the other men of Soul Reaper.

* * *

><p>A COUPLE OF BONG HITS LATER<p>

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is awesome! I love you Rukia!" Well that was a first for Ichigo...

"Dude...I think I found the meaning of life!" said Renji whilst spooning the armrest of the couch.

Nnoitra had experienced a seizure and passed out.

Rukia was still dancing and singing despite playing 'Ponponpon' for the twelfth time in a row now.

And the wise old sage Grimmjow? Well...

"AAAAGGHH! Did you see that?! She like...Vomited a bunch of eyeballs! Who did she eat?!"

He was freaking out...

A week later the entire band went to a Kyary Pamyu Pamyu concert, stoned out of their minds. Rukia was over the moon to meet the young star in person but the moment was ruined when Nnoitra, who not only had a dangerous amount of cannabis but also a dangerous amount of liquor resultantly threw up on the poor little songstress and got everyone kicked out.

* * *

><p><span>So, the moral of the story is...Actually I don't think there are any morals in this story...Well I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Please review!<span>


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